One Week

I’m a week away.  Glad it’s happening so quickly so that I don’t have time to stew about it, but sometimes I feel panicky that it’s coming so soon!

I told Tina that I think my left breast wants to go to Disneyland just ONE MORE TIME, but alas, it’s not going to happen this weekend…

My pre-op is at 1:45pm next Friday in Nuclear Medicine, where they will inject a dye that goes to the sentinel lymph nodes so that they can test and/or remove those to see if the cancer has spread beyond the breast.  That’s my biggest fear.  Strangely, though I know the recovery is going to be a bitch, I’m not that worried about the surgery itself; it’s the question of “did it spread?”  So, in an effort not to borrow trouble from tomorrow, I can’t dwell on that, I know, but every once in a while I get a panicky feeling and a little teary-eyed over that fear.

Thank you to my friend, Cindy Love, with Albie Aware, for sending me a book and a “drain pouch” that are both apparently loved by breast cancer patients.  I did, however, tear up upon receiving them because: 1) it was incredibly sweet for Cindy to mail them to me and write a personal note, and 2) I had no idea I would need a drain pouch – WTH is that?  My life (or at least my circumstances) are changing so fast!

First blog entry – Diagnosis

My diagnosis.

Well…here’s my first journal entry.  Thanks for caring about me enough to be concerned! I decided to start a blog to record my journey – mostly for myself, but also as a way to keep everyone updated on how I’m doing since I get many inquiries these days and I’m not always in a mood to describe my feelings, how I’m doing, etc. Especially when I’m down or have just gotten some negative information. So here goes!*

It started with my routine mammogram in January, followed up by a request for a second mammogram and ultrasound, which happened about a week later.  These images showed a mass and some calcifications in my left breast that would need to be biopsied.  The biopsy happened about a week later, which included 4 sites – the mass, 2 calcification areas and a lymph node.  The lymph node was negative, which is good, but the tests revealed that the calcifications were DCIS (non-invasive, stage 0 cancer) and the mass was invasive (invasive ductal carcinoma).  Because the areas are relatively far apart, a complete mastectomy is recommended, which should happen within a couple of weeks.

I’ll be taking at least a week off work to recover, and then hopefully working from home until I’m able to drive and be out long enough to return to work.

Me, pre-diagnosis

I am overwhelmed, as you can imagine, but being more of a glass-is-half-full kind of gal and having faith in God for whatever my future will bring, I am able to focus more on the things I’m thankful for than the fear-inducing what-ifs.

I treasure your thoughts, prayers, words, and support during this time, and I would also encourage the same support for Tina as she manages life with both a partner and best friend/co-worker (Carrie) experiencing cancer!

Here we go…


*This entry and the following were originally posted in the CaringBridge forum, which required a login and asked for donations, which I wasn’t crazy about, so I’m transferring them here so I have a little more control (yes, I AM a control freak) over the experience.