My Chemical Romance

I’m ready to break up with chemo for good.  My last chemo treatment was three weeks ago, and I somehow had the idea that it would only take a couple weeks to feel normal again.  I know, they say it takes about 6 months, but I’m an overachiever, so two weeks should be plenty!  Not so much…so I’m hoping it will be a bit of therapy to complain a little.  Here are some things I will most certainly NOT miss about my chemical romance:

BALDNESS 

I can’t wait for my hair to grow back!! Maybe it will come in thick and curly this time instead of thin and wispy!  I think I rock the hats pretty well, but I’m ready to go without them.

PAIN

Have I mentioned that I have had a headache ever since the first morning of chemo, and it’s never gone away?  Sometimes it’s only a 1 or 2 on the pain scale, but sometimes it’s a “Shoot me in the head – it has to feel better than this!”  I’d also heard about “bone pain” as a side effect, but didn’t start to feel it until about halfway through chemo (for that, I’m thankful!) and I still have it in my legs, especially at night.

NEUROPATHY 

I miss the feeling of my toes and feet. I blissfully await the return of normal sensations. I’d even be happy to feel the stabbing of my toe at this point (um, no I wouldn’t).  Got a pedicure yesterday and realized the “stains” I had thought to be on the outside of my toenails were actually on the inside –ugh.

CHEMO BRAIN

Oh crap, I forgot what I was going to say.

FATIGUE

I can’t wait to have my energy return. I’m ready to feel like doing things on the weekends again, instead of just using them as a “recovery period” from the week. I’m ready to WANT to go have dinner with friends instead of dragging myself out to do it despite my energy level. I’m ready for morning walks that don’t kill my neuropathy-ridden feet and leave me depleted of energy by 3pm.  I’m ready to not have to take eight medicines every day to counteract the side effects of chemo. I want to go to Disneyland again…

Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I need a nap.

Author: Karen Graton McClaflin

I am a traveler, music lover, truth-seeker, debater, perpetual smiler, beer drinker, promiscuous diner, cancer survivor, mom, Tutu, and wife.

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